


Stay With Me

by lemoncandles



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anxiety, BPD, BoyxBoy, Bullying, College, Depression, Drug Use, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internalized Homophobia, LMAO, M/M, Mental Illnesses, Original Characters - Freeform, Original work - Freeform, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychosis, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Ideations, Trigger Warnings, University, also if you like cliques then this is for you, btw sorry I'm evil, dont get attached to anyone, evil author, hospitalizations, lol, major character deaths, mlm, not gonna say who dies tho, self harm mentions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-14 20:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19280584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemoncandles/pseuds/lemoncandles
Summary: Eden’s summer is not at all what he was expecting. He was not expecting to make it to nineteen. He was not expecting to actually start college. He was not expecting such new changes. He was not expecting to end up in a hospital. But most importantly, he was not expecting to fall in love with a boy.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *Note: This story is an original piece of writing, as well as a work of fiction.*
> 
> ** Also sorry, I'm new here! The first chapter (chapter 1) is the prologue lol. **

The first thing I hear are sirens. A singing tune to wake me from my dreams. I shuffle around my bed as my eyes adjust to the darkness surrounding me. _What the hell could that noise be?_ I slowly stumble from my sheets and get out of bed. The sound continues to sing a frightening melody, drawing me in. My eyes slowly take in the parts of my room and I turn to my right, where the source of the noise can be found. As I approach my window, I can see vivid colors coming from the cracks of my blinds. My fingers shake as I peak out the blinds of my window. From my right, hues of red and blue glare at me, causing my eyes to squint. The noise continues to sing, almost as if it was taunting me. As I take a closer look outside, I begin to recognize the tune. My eyes search around the street. _Ah ha. There it is._ Outside on the street parks an ambulance dressed in green and white. Surrounding it are figures cloaked in black. The forms stand by as a body is carried into the vehicle. It took me a while before I recognized the formless body entering the ambulance. My heart begins to pick up its pace.

 

_Mom?_


	2. Chapter 2

Eden POV 

In my room, I lay on the forest green sheets of my bed, where my head rests on a silky white pillow. My almond eyes are parallel to the ivory ceiling above me. My body is still. I stay like this, watching the ceiling for a while. Then, a thought crosses my mind.  _ Today is the day that I turn nineteen. _ I sigh, closing my brown eyes. For a while, I imagine myself in another place, at another time before deciding that it’s time to get up.  _ I should probably change out of these clothes. _ I lift my body up, get out of bed, and then walk to my closet. As I walk to the closet, I groan at the piles of clothes on the corner side of my closet door.  _ Someday I’ll get around to cleaning my room, but today is not one of those days. _ Finally, I open the colorless closet door and look around. The inside of the closet is spacious, with enough room to fit a large suitcase. A few clothes spill from the open suitcase. Some of my clothes lay on one side of the floor, while the others are hung on hangers. Shoes of various colors and brands scramble throughout floor. 

I search through the hangers of clothes, hoping to find something to wear. As I get to the last hanger, I find nothing. I sigh, and then head for the open suitcase. As I search through the suitcase, I find an olive tinted t-shirt and a pair of ripped jeans, which I then throw on my bed. I pause for a bit, contemplating what comes next.  _ Shoes _ , I thought. _ Shoes, shoes, shoes, where are you? _ I look around the closet like a madman, looking for the right pair of shoes.  _ Ah ha! _ I find a pair of worn out black and white shoes with socks in them, which I then carry to my bed, where my clothes lay. I drop the shoes at the foot of my bed, and then I begin undressing. I take off my pajama shorts, and then throw them on the floor. Then, I remove the shirt I’ve been wearing for weeks now and also throw it on the floor. 

I turn around and glance at the mirror that rests at the top of my dresser. To the side of the mirror-dresser rests another dresser with a messenger bag in between. I grab my messenger bag, and then set it near my shoes. I shift back to glance at the mirror. The mirror is framed by white hued wood. It glows from the lamp that sits on top of the dresser. As I take a closer look at the mirror, I step forward. For a while, my brown eyes search the eyes opposite to mine.  _ Sometimes I think that there truly is nothing behind those dull eyes of mine. _ I then look elsewhere; at the pale, worn out face reflecting mine, and then at the body before me. I quickly glimpse at my exposed lanky self, and particularly at my shoulder bones. Before I know it, a face pops up and crosses my mind. The face mouthed,  _ what are you looking at, fatass? _ As soon as it comes, it goes. I briefly shift my eyes and whip my body back around. My heart begins to pick up speed as I pick the clothes on my bed and put them on. After I put my clothes on, I slip on my socks and shoes, and then quickly grabbed my messenger bag without tying my shoes. As I head out my bedroom door, I avoid contact with the mirror.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eden goes to work and sees a cute stranger there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** All of the music listed in this story is purely a work of fiction. **

_Time for work._ Eden sighed as he darted down the stairs and to the front door. _I can’t believe I wasted a year to work as a cashier at Alter Ego_ , he thought as he opens the front door and then steps outside, closing the door behind him. Eden starts to walk, and as he does so, drops of water touch the surface of his skin. He stops to lift his head up. The water begins to get heavier. Eden lets out a groan. He moves his head back down, and then looks back towards home. _Shit, I forgot my umbrella_ , Eden thought, sighing as he makes his way back home.

When he got to the front door, Eden opened his messenger bag, and begins to search inside his bag. He continues searching throughout his bag before he realized something. _My keys are inside,_ he thought _._ _Why does this always happen, how could I be so careless?_ Eden decided to move on. He begins walking his way back towards work. As he does this, Eden takes his phone out of his messenger bag, along with a pair of headphones. _Time for some music,_ he thought, flipping through some apps before he finds the music app and taps on a playlist. Homesick by Kitty Graves begins playing.

 

***

 

By the time that Eden got to Alter Ego, he was drenched from head to toe. Water stuck to his body, and every time Eden moved, his shoes would squeak. _Good thing I have extra clothes in my locker_ , he thought. Eden opened the door before him. As he made his way over to the employee’s section of the store, Eden looks around his surroundings. The store had see through windows, and displayed behind them were mannequins dressed in clothing of various colors and sizes. There was a red sign near the front of the store, and written on it were the words “ _SALE_ ” in big white letters. The walls of the store were covered with numerous records. Displayed throughout the store were various posters and banners. Records and CDS were located at the backside of the store as well, and they were sectioned neatly in front one of the walls. On the other side of that same wall and near the mannequins were clothes, which were hung neatly in sectioned piles. Next to those clothes were merchandise of all sorts, ranging from books to mugs with images on them. To the right of that was the cash register, where an employee stood behind. A few customers were hunched around in lines in front of the register. They were waiting patiently for someone to take their cash.

After making his way around, Eden got inside the back room of the store. The back room was quite spacious with lots of room. Clothes and merchandise were stored on the left side of the wall, but they were in different sections. Extra records and books were also stored in cases on the left side of the wall. On the right side of the room were three doors, one that was opened and two that were closed. The room that was opened had lights turned on, and from the inside Eden could hear chatter. Eden walked over to the room that was open. Outside of the room and to the right of the door lay a machine on the wall. Eden tapped the screen of the machine, and then punched in a code. Before he knew it, his name appeared on the screen, “Eden Santiment”. Eden tapped a couple of buttons, and then logged off. _Time to get my clothes_ , he sighed. Before he entered the room, Eden took a peek inside. He could see two fellow coworkers inside, whom were presumably taking a lunch break.

“Checking in?” a voice called behind him, causing Eden to freeze in his place. Eden turned around to find a tan woman in a dress tinted in the color of wine. She had warm eyes, and dark hair that reached the tops of her shoulder.

“Sorry, did I spook you?” she grinned as she lightly tapped Eden’s shoulder.

“Yeah, a little bit,” Eden sighed in relief, letting out his breath. “You’ve got to stop doing that Emersa, coming behind me like that. You gave me a fright,”

“Sorry, I can’t help it,” Emersa laughed as she walked passed Eden and went into the room. Following her, Eden also entered the room. Upon Eden’s arrival, the two fellow coworkers who were inside stopped talking. They were looking at Eden, and at his wet clothes in particular.

“Hey Eden.” one of them, by the name of Louisa, said calmly. She was short, with long blue hair and piercing eyes. She wore blue jeans and a black shirt that matched her dark shoes.

“Hey bud, how are you doing?” the other stated. His name was Jordan. He was tall, had short black hair, and was wearing a gray t-shirt and black jeans. Eden cleared his throat and ran his hand through his soaked brown hair. He was not the best talker, and especially not to his coworkers.

“I’m good,” Eden stated, fumbling around awkwardly in his place. Louisa and Jordan smiled at him, and then they went back to their conversation. After Emersa got what she needed, she headed out the door.

“See ya, Eden.” she called behind her.

“See ya,” Eden muttered to himself, making his way over to his locker. After grabbing an extra pair of clothes with his left hand, Eden walked past Louisa and Jordan and headed out the door. He then took a left towards one of the closed doors. When Eden reached the bathroom, he punched in a code with his right hand. _8064._ He entered the bathroom, shut it behind him, and turned the lights on.

  


***

 

Eden was bored. It was almost near the end of his shift, and there were hardly any customers in the store. He yawned as his eyes searched around the store. Then, his eyes came to a stop at someone who came into the store. The person was wearing black jeans and a striped shirt, and on his back lay a black backpack. He went directly to the music section of the store. Eden had seen students with those backpacks before, at the liberal arts university he will be attending. _I wonder if he’s a college student_ , Eden pondered.

After exploring the displayed records and CDs, the stranger finally stopped at the CD section. He searched through the various CDs before he found one that caught his eye. The stranger smiled with content and took the CD. Then, he made his way to Eden. The stranger stopped in front of the cash register, and then handed Eden a CD of Stomach Aches by The Parasites. Eden reached for the CD and took it. He looked at the CD, and then at the man. Eden was stunned by the stranger. He had blonde hair, and the most gorgeous shade of eyes, ranging from all sorts of grays to greens. And his lips. God, _his lips_ . Eden quickly glanced at the stranger’s hands. His hands were about the size of his, only a bit smaller. _I wonder how it would feel to hold them_ , Eden thought _._ The stranger was looking at him funny before Eden realized that he was still holding onto the CD.

“Oh… Uh, sorry,” Eden said, and then checked the CD with the cash register. “T-That’ll be twelve dollars,” stuttered Eden, blushing vividly.

The stranger smiled at him. Or was Eden imagining it? The stranger took out cash from his backpack, and then he handed Eden twenty dollars. Eden gladly took the cash and put it in the cash register.

“Here’s your c-change.” Eden stuttered again, handing the stranger eight dollars. As he handed the cash, their finger tips touched. The stranger took the cash from Eden.  _God, why do my hands have to be so sweaty_.

“Thank you.” the stranger grinned, beaming at Eden. _His smile. God, his smile_. The man put the CD, as well as the cash that Eden gave him, in his backpack. Then, he turns around and heads for the door. From the side of his eye, Eden looks at the man one last time. The man does so as well. Or did he imagine that too?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eden leaves work, and outside he sees the cute stranger from before smoking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating. I've been busy and will continue to be busy, especially now that I have a job. :/

By the time that his shift had ended, Eden’s brown hair was dry again.  _ Time to go home _ , Eden sighed in relief. Eden exited out the area of the cash register and made his way over to the employee’s section of the store. When he got to the employee’s break room, he found Emersa sitting at one of the tables. She was eating a snack. 

“Hey,” Emersa smiled as she greeted Eden. “You know, you could always buy an umbrella from the store,” she stated.

“Really?” Eden questioned. He never considered doing that before, nor did he ever thought to ask.

“Yeah, of course!” Emersa exclaimed, waving her hand as if it’s no big deal.

“Alright, thanks,” Eden smiled. He made his way over to his locker, and then took a plastic bag full of his wet clothes out of his locker.

“Alright, so I’m heading out,” Eden declared as he exited the room. 

“Alright, bye!” Emersa called from behind him.

Eden walked over to the work punching machine and entered the same code as before. After tapping a few buttons, he clocked out. Eden then headed out of the stockroom, and towards where the umbrellas were. After Eden walked to where the umbrellas of various hues stood, he reached out and picked an umbrella that was coated in black. Then, he headed over to the cash register.

“Hey Louisa, I’d like to buy this umbrella,” Eden stated as he handed Louisa the black umbrella. Louisa checked the umbrella with a scanner. As she did so, Eden looked around the store. Almost no customers were in sight.

“Alright, that’ll be ten dollars,” Louisa responded. After a while, Eden turned his head back around and realized that Louisa spoke. After turning his head, Eden reached for his messenger bag and took out ten dollars. He then handed it to Louisa, who gave him back two dollars. Briefly, after giving Eden two dollars back, Louisa finally hands the black umbrella to Eden, and he takes it. 

“Have a nice day!” Louisa exclaimed as Eden begins to walk to the store’s exit.

Eden was heading out of Alter Ego and struggling to put his money in his bag when something caught his attention. There he was. The stranger from before. He was standing outside of Alter Ego, holding an umbrella with his left hand, and smoking a joint with his right hand. He inhaled the joint as if it was like air to him.  _ He looks lonely smoking by himself. I wonder if he’s waiting for someone _ , Eden pondered. Eden opened the wooden door of the store and stepped outside. He then opened his umbrella and glanced at the man once more. From there, Eden had a closer look at the man. The man was even more beautiful up close.  _ He looks like a model, _ Eden thought. The man looked almost celestial as he inhaled and exhaled the trial of smoke. Eden searched the man’s bead of eyes.  _ God, those piercing eyes of his _ . Although the man’s eyes were beautiful, they were also distracted. The man seemed distant somehow, as if his mind was somewhere else. Unexpectedly, the man turned and made eye contact with Eden. His piercing gaze caught Eden off guard. Eden briefly looked away and pretended to study the rain that was pouring outside.  _ Wait, why did I look away _ , Eden thought. The man turned back to his position, looking distant ahead. He inhaled one last puff of his joint, and then threw it on the sidewalk. As he did this, Eden looked back and studied the man’s hands again.  _ How delicate they must seem, those hands _ , thought Eden.  _ To hold them must be a dream _ . Eden turned and quickly snapped out of his thoughts.  _ Wait, why am I thinking about these things _ . Eden slightly shook his head, as if that would make him stop his thinking. Eden was so distracted that he didn’t notice the stranger speaking to him.

“It’s really pouring outside today, huh?” The man spoke. His voice was soft, and it sounded just as divine as he looked. It took Eden a while before he realized he heard something.

“...What?” Eden questioned, looking at the man in disbelief. _Was he talking to me?_ Eden must surely be imagining it. After all, why would the man speak to _him_? The man, who was now facing him, looked at Eden again, but this time with a more serious look on his face. Eden made intense eye contact with the man before looking away. _You could seriously get lost in those eyes_ , Eden thought. He ran a hand through his chestnut hair and smiled as he fumbled around awkwardly.  
“Oh. Y-Yeah.” Eden replied, blushing as he looked away at his shoes. There was a long silence between the two, which was soon broken by a voice.

“Hey, Matt!” Eden and the man turned to look at a woman heading their way. She was skinny, with a head full of short brown hair. She wore black jeans and a multi-colored long sleeve shirt. When she arrived, she gave the man a long hug.  _ Who is she? _ Eden pondered as he looked at the two. He felt hurt somehow, and he didn’t know why.

“Hi Eliza,” the man smirked. The man gave the woman a sly smile as he greeted her.  _ God, that smile of his _ .

“Hey, how are you? I’ve missed you,” she pouted as she pretended to wipe a tear from her face.  _ She’s pretty _ , Eden thought.  _ Could she be his girlfriend? _ Eden felt jealous somehow, and he didn’t know why. He crossed his arms awkwardly and tried to look elsewhere.

“I bet you did.” The man grinned as he took Eliza’s hand. Eden then looked back at the two, and he felt himself become more glum. Eden’s stomach twisted and turned as he stared at the pair holding hands.

“Ready to go?” the woman asked, looking around. As she did so, the woman made eye contact with Eden. Eden held her gaze, and then quickly looked away to his right, looking for something to distract himself.

“Yeah.” The man replied as he began heading left of the store. The woman followed. The pair’s conversation got less audible as they walked further away. Eden just stood there for a while, watching the two leave and hold hands before they got out of sight.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> * Eden listens to Stomach Aches on his way home.   
> * Eden gets into an argument with his father.  
> * Eden continues to listen to The Parasites while at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Tw: Depictions of alcohol and the f word is used in this chapter **

On his way home, Eden was listening to music. He couldn’t stop thinking about the man from before. _Matt… I wonder if that is a nickname,_ Eden thought. The woman who was with the man seemed close to him somehow, as if they knew each other. _I wonder if they’re together_ , Eden pondered, remembering how they held hands. _They seemed to know each other well_ , Eden continued thinking. As he continued to wonder about the stranger and the woman together, Eden could feel himself getting more sad, and he didn’t know why. _Why am I sad, I shouldn’t feel this way_ , Eden thought. _It’s not normal to feel this way, is it?_ Eden’s thoughts were all over the place, and the stranger from earlier was mostly at fault. Eden continued to think about the stranger, and especially those drawing eyes of his. _How alluring they are, those eyes... Unlike mine_ , he thought. Eden went off in a trance as he tried to remember details of the man and how distant he seemed. He then began to picture the man’s lips. _How soft they seemed, those lips_ , Eden thought _._ Suddenly, something crossed his mind. _I wonder how it would feel to have them on mine_. Eden shook his head. _Wait, why am I having these thoughts. I’m not gay… Am I?_ He questioned, furrowing his eyebrows. Eden shook his head again. He looked around the street and tried to focus on something else. Gradually though, he failed, as his thoughts went back to the man. _What was that CD called again? The one that he bought?_ Eden pondered for a while. _Ah! Stomach Aches_. Eden tried to recall the name of the artist on the CD. _What were they called again, The Pedestals?_ He thought. _Wait, no that doesn’t sound right_. Eden tried to focus, but he couldn’t get the man’s face out of his head. Eden tried to think harder, and before he knew it, he remembered the artist. _Ah yes… The Parasites… The Parasites, huh? I wonder if they’re any good._

On his music app, Eden searched for Stomach Aches by The Parasites. Eden spent a good five minutes listening to two songs from Stomach Aches before coming to a conclusion.  _ Wow, this album is very good. I’m surprised I never heard of it before _ , he thought. Eden internally made a note to himself to listen to more of The Parasites later on when he got home. As he did so, Eden continued to listen to Stomach Aches. As he got to the end of the last song on the album, which was called Stains, Eden began to notice himself getting closer to his neighborhood. He wasn’t surprised, as his work was not too far from where he lived. Eden looked around and took in the neighborhood. There were houses lined up in blocks, and they all were coated in pastel paint. From where he stood, Eden could see his house. His house was the one in a light shade of blue, with hues of white intertwined. The house had short and white coated steps that led up to the front door. Eden continued to walk straight ahead. After a while, he turned around in a corner. He had arrived home. Eden walked up the steps of his house. He took off his headphones and put them, along with his phone, in his messenger bag. Then, he hesitated for a bit. He didn’t have his keys, which meant he had to ring the doorbell. Eden knew his father was home, as he didn’t have work today. Typically, Eden tried to avoid his father when he was at home, as he had a short temper. But since he left his keys inside, facing his father couldn’t be avoided. He sighed, and then finally rang the bell. After about five minutes, Eden could hear the sound of feet on the stairs getting close. Then, before he knew it, his father opened the door and was in front of him.

“Hey dad… sorry I forgot my keys inside,” Eden frowned as he ran a hand through his hair. He moved his head down and tried to avoid eye contact with his father.

“That’s okay. Just…” his dad sighs and lets out a long breath. From where he stood, Eden could smell alcohol coming from his breath.  _ Has he been drinking? Again? _

“Don’t forget your keys next time, okay?” Eden’s father snarled, and then turned around, leaving the front door open. He left Eden and made his way back inside the house. Eden entered the house and closed the door behind him. He made his way to the living room. Eden’s father was already in the living room, sitting on one of the sofas and with a drink in his hand. The television glew as Eden’s father switched channels. After a couple of minutes, his father finally settled on a show. As his father was observing the show that was on, Eden looked intensely at the bottle of alcohol that lay on one of the small tables near the sofa. Eden could see that the bottle was a quarter way empty.

“Hey dad… Aren’t you forgetting something today?” Eden slowly asked. He didn’t usually try to bother his father while he was drinking, but today was special. Today was his birthday. Eden tried to hint to his father as he motioned his hands toward himself.

“Is… Is there something today… That’s... That’s worth remembering?” Eden’s father slurred as he poured himself a drink. He took a couple of sips and then looked at Eden. Eden frowned. He could feel his back slumping as he looked disappointedly at his father.  _ How could he forget my birthday _ , Eden thought. Eden stared at his father as he continued to drink. His father turned around from the television and made eye contact with Eden. This time, he had a frown on his face.

“Why… Why are you… Looking at me like  _ that _ . Didn’t I tell you  _ not _ … To look at me like  _ that _ ?!” Eden’s father slurred as his voice rose. Eden briefly looked away. His eyes averted to the lamp that was resting in the living room. There was a long silence between the two. Then, after a while Eden spoke.

“Today’s my birthday.  _ And _ the day that mom died! Out of all days, I thought you would’ve at least remembered this one… I guess not.” Eden snapped. He could feel his face grow red as tears threatened to leave his eyes. Eden’s father looked at him silently. After a few minutes, he turned his head back towards the television. Eden looked at his father watching his show. As he did this, he could feel anger building up inside his chest.  _ Out of all days… He forgets this one _ . Eden clenched his hands into a fist.  _ My birthday… Mom’s death anniversary _ .  _ How could you forget? _

“You’re nothing but an  _ asshole _ , you know that?!” Eden retorted as he began to make his way to the stairs near the living room.

“If… If your mother knew you’d grow up to dress like such a… _A_ _faggot_... She never would have given birth to you!” his father yelled. Eden didn’t stay to hear whatever insults his father threw at him, for he was already on his way upstairs. As he made his way up the stairs, Eden hardly heard his father cry.

 

***

 

When Eden got to his bedroom, he opened the door and slammed it behind him. Before Eden knew it, tears began trailing out of his eyes. He took off his messenger bag and set it near the door. Then, he put his umbrella and plastic bag full of wet clothes next to it. As he did this, he felt his face becoming more and more red. Lines of water were pouring out of his eyes.  _ Don’t cry... not now _ , Eden thought as he tried to wipe the tears coming from his eyes. But it was no use, for he couldn’t stop the tears. When Eden gave up on wiping his tears, he headed for the closet doors. One by one, Eden aggressively took off his clothes and threw them on the closet floor. He didn’t even bother to put on clothes as he walked over to his mirror-dresser. Eden quickly glanced at the mirror and saw that his eyes were red and full of tears.  _ Crybaby _ . He quickly looked away and opened one section of the dresser. Inside the dresser were various items. One of the items was a photo. It was an old photo; the texture of the photo was grainy, and the white edges framed around it were slowly turning tan. Eden took a closer look at the photo. It was a picture of his mother and him. In the photo, Eden had more of a baby face, and his legs weren’t as long as they are now.  _ I’m so sorry, mom _ , Eden thought as he closed the dresser. With the picture in one hand, Eden made his way over to his messenger bag and took out his phone and headphones. Then, Eden put in his headphones and walked over to his bed, where he then lay on.

As Eden lay on his bed, he began to calm down. His breathing slowed, and the tears stopped flowing. Eden wiped his face once more and then opened the music app on his phone. Once he did so, Eden typed in The Parasites in the search bar. A list of songs showed up. Eden went through the list, and then went back up and clicked on the first song he found. Hurricane by The Parasites began playing.  _ I am the howl in the wind. I am the raindrops pouring down. I am the clap of thunder. I am the chill of winter. I am the perfect recipe for disaster. I am a hurricane. _ The tune of Hurricane continues playing and Eden lays there for a while, lying on his bed while listening to Hurricane. The rest of the evening, Eden listens to The Parasites until he drifted to sleep.


End file.
